Stuart George

You’ve got to laugh…

In Cricket on January 22, 2011 at 10:31 am

READ IT HERE

Having been thumped by the England cricket team, those Aussies have just revealed to the world that they have a sense of humour.

Herewith some jokes sent by an Australian friend.

Q. What do you call an Australian with a bottle of Champagne?
A.  A waiter.


Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An Australian batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What would Jimmy Anderson be if he was Australian?
A. An all-rounder.

Q. What is the main function of the Australian coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. Why don’t Australian fielders need pre tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What’s the Australian version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped.

Q. What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What’s the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Ponting?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. What do Australian batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

Q. Why are Australian cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.

Q. What does Ryan Harris put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat

Q. What do you call a world class Australian Cricketer?
A. Retired.

Q. What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A. A fisherman.

Q. What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

Q. Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
A. They haven’t got any openers.

Q. What do you call an Australian who can handle a bat….
A. A vet


Ring ring!!! Ring ring!!
“Hello, Australian dressing room.”
“Hello, I’d like to speak to Ricky Ponting please.”
“Sorry, he’s just gone out to bat.”
“It’s okay, I’ll wait.”

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